A Correction.

Seems I was a bit hasty in choosing the vintage ads for last post. My search criteria should have included some mention of words like "real" "genuine" or "actual". By not specifying my requests I mistakenly included at least one (and possibly two or three) ads that were bogus. The Japanese Proz-Zak ad was part of a vintage advertisement art contest in which designers created ads to look like the old ones--and I got fooled. I've lost the thread of my search history, but I now suspect that perhaps one or two others in my collection were from the same pool of parodies. I'll leave it to you to suss out which those might be--I suspect it may be the guys wrestling in their girdle/underwear...and maybe one or two of the outrageously sexist scenarios that push the "It's a man's world" ethos to improbable limits. In a way, it may still be interesting even if they are phony, to the extent that they succeed at fooling us (certainly me) because we/I recognize(d) how close to the truth of their time they are/were.

Anyway, to make up for it here are a few more...








The copy is the epitome of eloquent euphemism.










"This is your opportunity to gain quick popularity..." Someday I'll write an ad this good.




For the kid who has everything...except a parent with a brain.










One of many such ads for this product, and Company founder N.K. Fairbank was also University of Chicago Board Chairman. But to be fair, that was back in the late 1800s...













...by 1952 advertisers had become much more enlightened...











The Knicks are driving me nuts!

I keep trying to figure out what's really wrong (aside from lack of focus, defensive doldrums, general lack of spirit and a host of other factors cited by all the B'ball pundits and frustrated fans) and my latest speculation is that it has something to do with the influence of playing in New York City. The Big Apple is a rotten place for learning, growing, developing and nurturing. It's a playground for established movers and shakers. It's a town of big money, big media, big business and big egos. It's the heart of the "Empire" State. It's the "What have you done for me lately?" city. It's the Yankees with their insufferable sense of entitlement. It's the world of Fashion with its emphasis on style over substance. It's Wall St. and the big swinging dicks of finance. And now, more than ever, the people who go to see the games at the Garden are more apt to be deep pocketed, over indulged expense account corporate types rather than hard core hoops enthusiasts who really know and love the game. And Carmelo (and to a lesser extent Amare) came to New York with all the baggage that made the weight of expectations too great to withstand anything less than instant success. Dolan is the problem too. He wants stars and glamour and all that crap and probably hasn't got a clue about what it takes to build a winning team. I feel sorry for D'Antoni. I think he does know what it takes, but he's a victim of Big Apple Blues too.

Anywho...


Here's something I found years ago when I got in the habit of sending e-mails to my son Eli with interesting/inspiring quotes. I don't know exactly where I found it, but if memory serves, it was a website created by a young man who was traveling the world after abandoning a budding career (in corporate law maybe?) During his travels he kept a journal/log (I guess that's a blog) in which he shared thoughts, ideas etc. He put a much longer list together over time and I liked it and sent it to Eli. I think he had a clever headline for it but I can't remember that either. Anyway, here's what I kept of it.



Accept a breath mint if someone offers you one.

Never give anybody a fondue set or anything painted avocado green

Plant zucchini only if you have lots of friends.

Take off the convention badge as soon as you leave the convention hall.

Remember, the wrapping on a gift sometimes says more than the gift itself.

Learn the word for " love " in many languages.

When you are totally exhausted but have to keep going, wash your face and hands and put on clean socks and a clean shirt.

Check for toilet paper before sitting down.

Don't sleep all you want...just all you need.

Live an honourable life. Then when you get older and think back, you'll get to enjoy it a second time.

Purchase one piece of original art each year, even if it's just a small oil painting by a high school student.

Don't do business with anyone who has a history of suing people.

Never pick up anything off the floor of a cab.

Leave loose change where a child can find it.

When travelling the back roads, stop whenever you see a sign that reads "Honey for Sale."

Don't outlive your money.

Let some things remain mysterious.

Never eat a sugared doughnut when wearing a dark suit.

Hire people more for their judgement than for their talents.

Love someone who doesn't deserve it.


AND FINALLY, ONE OF MY FAVORITE PHOTOS. I HAVE THIS POSTED ON MY OFFICE WALL.

REMEMBER: CLICKING IMAGES ENLARGES...USUALLY.



As good a way as any I think to start off another tour of vintage advertising that says in very few words and pictures just about all you need to know about the general zeitgeist of a particular moment in time. This was run by The Office of War Information and it's amazing to think that not so long ago our economic model was still simple enough to be reduced to such easy math. Supply side running low? No problem, reduce demand. Class dismissed.






Subtle ain't it? Wonder if it just blended in with everything else at the time or kinda, sorta, maybe just a little bit bothered some sensibilities? Mad men indeed.






Well, as long as we're in the ballpark, might as well follow a few more pitches. I see nothing disturbing here, except that maybe the illustrator overdid the burning pan a bit. But he certainly captured our pretty homemaker...that perfect combination of "Oh, silly me" and " will you ever forgive me?"



And three's a charm. Rounding out our trio of true love stories is this romance brought to you by the Corn Flakes folk.
I find it confusing though. What's the guy's angle? The inset panel almost suggests that he's either jealous or just a big fat liar.










What's not to love? Honest, clear, benefit driven advertising. Wonder if you can find it on E-Bay.










Oooh...I'll bet burping this kid was a snap! Dig the little doggie behind the bottle...you just can't keep a good art director down.



















Dr. Batty alright.














Now meybes dere was a time wen folks jus dint know no bettah-- and wasn meanin no harm.
Or den agin meybe's dey did know bettah-- but jus dinnt care one ways or de otha bout nobody cept
they own dum ignorant cold blooded black hearted venal and evil as the devil selves.





Whaaaaa?



Huhhhhhh?



Holy Delusional Dingbats Batman!



Clearly a campaign with a strong ideological foundation. Like a cross between Ayn Rand and Jules Verne.
Maybe the CEO of Motorola thought everyone lives like this. And "hey you kids, don't let me catch you running down those stairs or it's no movie in the basement amphitheater tonight."





Including this only cause I really like the bike. Never saw one like it before. Wonder why you never see them at antique shops--guess the good ones are too valuable? And always nice to remember that before photography completely took over, there were people who could really draw ...and earn a living.









And you thought it was " you can't be too thin".














...and nothin gets the appetite going like knowing your meat is fresh and came to you of its own free will.











Feel free to provide your own caption. I'm speechless














Fascinating.
Gotta dig for more info on this one.
I'll let you know what I find out.











And finally...can't believe I found this.
If you know the routine he did about it, it's even funnier.

If you don't...





here it is...

THEY DIDN'T TELL US THIS STORY IN SCHOOL

Meticulously researched historical account while also a moving and heartbreaking narrative. Unsentimental, unbiased, and as even handed as one could imagine possible —leaving it to the reader to draw conclusions based on substantiated fact, documented records and first person accounts. An impressive scholarly achievement that occasionally reads like dramatic fiction simply by virtue of the intensity of the actual human drama it depicts.


Quanah Parker was the son of Cynthia Ann Parker who was captured by Comanches in a raid when she was 9 yrs. old. She spent next 25 years living as a Comanche, marrying the tribal chief and raising three children. She was then recaptured and returned to her family where she resisted reintegration with anglo life and died after starving herself. Her story was the basis of John Ford's classic western The Searchers.




Quanah was about 12 when his mother was recaptured and taken away from the tribe, and he grew up to be one of the last of the great Comanche warrior chiefs to escape capture while leading an ever dwindling population of resisters into ever more ill-fated battles until U.S. military might ultimately prevailed. And then, (most amazingly) he shrewdly adapted by becoming a respected (by white establishment including Teddy Roosevelt) leader and champion of indian rights within the new world of the reservation. But the book is primarily the story of the expansion of anglo settlements and the hundreds of battles, raids, counter-raids and outright slaughters that led to the total demise of free native american tribes throughout the entire region.


About halfway through reading, it started to dawn on me that this was the same story that has played out over and over again throughout history. A clash of civilizations with no chance or possibility of resolution other than complete and total dominance by one over the other. Treaties made, treaties broken. Peace policies introduced, policies abandoned. And the critical role that technology often plays in such sagas. In this case that initially included the Horse ( The introduction of which by the Spaniards made the Comanche (and dozens of other tribes) way of life possible. The Comanches were Buffalo Hunters and warriors--and the greatest horsemen. On the anglo side, it was the gun. The Colt repeating pistol and the long range rifle. And in the end the Railroad was the ultimate game changer. The writing was on the wall from the outset--and only the date of the endgame was ever in doubt.

“Manifest Destiny” (a term coined in the 1840s by John O'Sullivan) repelled me the moment I first understood it’s meaning. Most of us learned it in school and as I recall, no one ever pointed out or made mention of the fact that in essence it was simply a self-righteous rationale for slavery, conquest and genocide. 'This is our destiny (because it is God’s will) and we will make it manifest by whatever means necessary.' And reading David Remnick’s piece on Israel in this week’s New Yorker--

(http://www.newyorker.com/talk/comment/2012/03/12/120312taco_talk_remnick)-

- it resonated again. Remnick talks about the rising tide of extreme fundamentalism taking hold as a similar dynamic plays out in the middle east –and it gave me chills. Two sides. Both convinced of their religious, spiritual, geographic, historical and immutable right to a particular piece of the planet. Neither genuinely interested in co-existence anymore--only retribution and conquest. Like any Hatfield and McCoy scenario, the initial causes and events fade into distant memory and all that remains is the fear and anger rising from each new confrontation. Emotional fervor rises as tragic and senseless death tolls mount and one begets the other in an endless cycle. I thought I generally understood the hard core hawks over there, but the article cites things that sound like the zealous Zionists are turning into fanatical fascists. Maybe Space exploration is a good thing…never thought so before.


I’ve been foolin around with “Over the Rainbow” for months now and havin fun playing with voicings and chord substitutions.

(Interesting document here: Piano/Accordian solo from British Edition of original film score)

The song is so pretty and the changes allow for enough variation for me to find the tune a challenging little puzzle.




And everything Harold Arlen wrote was great (my son's guitar teacher turned me on to Arlen when he led the Westchester Jazz Orchestra in a concert of his work. Arlen was one of the few "Broadway" composers whose style was steeped in jazz and blues influences--Stormy Weather, Come Rain or Come Shine, Blues in the Night) and E.Y. (Yip) Harburg is one of my favorite lyricists--(Brother Can You Spare a Dime?, It's Only a Paper Moon, Lydia the Tattooed Lady) I think what keeps me going with it is that the melody comes through so strongly even when you just concentrate on the changes—but I suspect that has something to do with how familiar it is and how locked into our psyche it’s been all our lives.

Anyhow…I’m slowly making progress trying to find new ways to treat it...and it’s given me a new appreciation for how great the tune is. And how it lends itself to so many interpretations.

I've posted Per-Olav Kindgren before. His old homemade website was full of great (and free!) stuff--but he's wised up and now it's all high-tech and slick (http://www.per-olovkindgren.com/ipnmonitor/index.php) and not free. But good for him...and I hope he's making a go of it. I found him while looking for easy Bach transcriptions and he had a few I could tackle. I like what he's done with this tune here too.



And maybe because I'm so handicapped by my limited knowledge and technique, I'm that much more amazed when a wizard like Art Tatum takes a crack at it.
Tatum isn’t everyone’s cup of tea (though his “Tea for Two” rarely fails to blow minds) cause he’s almost too good. Listening to him is almost like watching the workings of some kind of complex high speed machinery with so many moving parts you can't ever quite see how they all fit together. There’s almost too much going on to take it all in and after a while it doesn’t even sound like music anymore. But here he sticks to the tune most of the time…and displays the technique (those arpeggios!) and the imagination that even made Oscar Peterson want to throw in the towel.


OVER THE RAINBOW




Great music scenes in the movies continues

...with Tatum taking a back seat to an all star front line.

This is a Jam Session From The 1947 Film "Fabulous Dorseys"

 with:

Art Tatum : Piano

Tommy Dorsey : Trombone

Jimmie Dorsey : Clarinet

Charlie Barnet : Sax

George Van Eps : Guitar

Ray Bauduc : Drums

Ziggy Elman : Trumpet

Stuart Foster : Bass




I’m in the restaurant at SeaWorld and halfway through my fishburger I realize, I could be eating a slow learner.

Lynda Montgomery

"...And if you don't finish your vegetables, Daddy's gonna take you to a Knicks game. "


After last night's loss to Dallas, Carmelo ( after going 2 for 12) said:

“I think anytime you go from the early part of the season, just having the ball and me just having the ball and being the distributor, and now just running the wings and waiting for the ball to come to me, that’s quite an adjustment for myself.”

Sad. So much talent, so little understanding of the game. He's like a guitar player who only cares about his solo with no concept of the song.


NOT A WHOLE LOT TO SAY TODAY...

SO HERE'S A WHOLE LOT OF NUMBERS THAT PROBABLY SAY SOMETHING...



The world population = 7 billion (give or take a few)

Total annual births 134 million

Total annual deaths 56 million
(but expected to increase to 80 million per year by 2040)

Population by continent

Asia
4.1 Billion

Africa
994 Million

Europe
738 Million

North America
528 Million

South America
385 Million

Oceania
36 Million

Antarctica
4.5 Thousand


Ok. Now that we have our points of reference...


◦ 107 trillion – The number of emails sent on the Internet in 2010
.
◦ 294 billion – Average number of email messages per day.

◦ 1.88 billion – The number of email users worldwide.

◦ 480 million – New email users since the year before.

◦ 2.9 billion – The number of email accounts worldwide.




• 255 million – The number of websites as of December 2010.

• 21.4 million – Added websites in 2010.




• 88.8 million – .COM domain names at the end of 2010.

• 13.2 million – .NET domain names at the end of 2010.

• 8.6 million – .ORG domain names at the end of 2010.


• 1.97 billion – Internet users worldwide (June 2010).

• 14% – Increase in Internet users since the previous year.

• 825.1 million – Internet users in Asia.

• 475.1 million – Internet users in Europe.

• 266.2 million – Internet users in North America.



• 204.7 million – Internet users in Latin America / Caribbean.

• 110.9 million – Internet users in Africa.

• 63.2 million – Internet users in the Middle East.

• 21.3 million – Internet users in Oceania / Australia.



• 152 million –
The number of blogs on the Internet

• 25 billion – Number of sent tweets on Twitter in 2010

• 100 million – New accounts added on Twitter in 2010

• 175 million – People on Twitter as of September 2010

• 7.7 million – People following @ladygaga (Lady Gaga

• 600 million – People on Facebook at the end of 2010.

• 250 million – New people on Facebook in 2010.

• 30 billion – Pieces of content (links, notes, photos, etc.) shared on Facebook per month.

• 70% – Share of Facebook’s user base located outside the United States.

• 20 million – The number of Facebook apps installed each day.

• 2 billion – The number of videos watched per day on YouTube.

• 35 – Hours of video uploaded to YouTube every minute.

• 186 – The number of online videos the average Internet user watches in a month (USA).

• 84% – Share of Internet users that view videos online (USA).

• 14% – Share of Internet users that have uploaded videos online (USA).

• 2+ billion – The number of videos watched per month on Facebook.

• 20 million – Videos uploaded to Facebook per month.

• 5 billion – Photos hosted by Flickr (September 2010).

• 3000+ – Photos uploaded per minute to Flickr.

• 3+ billion – Photos uploaded per month to Facebook.





LUDDITES OF THE WORLD UNITE! YOU HAVE NOTHING TO LOSE BUT YOUR PENCILS.

Every time I go away on vacation to some warm, slow, friendly, quiet, nature soaked land, I always return home with the same thought (as I ride along the Van Wyck Expressway on the way home from the airport) –“What am I doing back here?” It’s not the cold and it’s not the concrete and asphalt and it’s not the crowds and it’s not the dearth of trees and grass and sea and sand and clean fresh air. It’s the endless hum of all the engines of commerce and consumption …which just so happen to be the very engines that drive the vehicle that provides me with a living. Which begs the question: “ You call that living?”


Okay…I’m breaking my silence. My blogging mentor at teddyvegas.blogspot.com is the gold standard in sports analysis ( you can just go there now if you want a more advanced POV) so I’ve thus far kept off his turf, but I gotta say a few words about the Knick resurgence and the man who lit the fire that continues to burn bright for Big Apple hoop fans--and for the first time in a long time I'm paying attention and watching more than a few 4th quarters here and there.

I’m glad Jeremy Lin has settled down into the player he’s probably destined to be— a smart, selfless, skilled, quick and consistently effective point guard who makes everyone else on the court better by virtue of his general court sense, anticipatory decision making (those turnovers will abate) and energy. Those high scoring outbursts were clearly anomalies (partly due to opposing teams who were taken by surprise by his unexpected aggressiveness and determination) and unlikely to be the standard he maintains…but that’s all to the good since his real value is in energizing the rest of the team, directing traffic, dishing off the drive, and perhaps doing what would be the greatest miracle of all—turning Carmelo into a true team oriented star.

And seems like N. Djokovic, Lin has some mimicry talent--displayed here when he was a 15 yr. old high-schooler.




I felt from the beginning of Lin's heroic streak, that as good as he is, he looked that much better cause the rest of the guys on the court were just going through the motions. And watching D'Antoni in pre and post game interviews, he always looked and sounded like a high school principal trying to avoid admitting that the kids are just too spoiled and entitled to respond to any kind of outside authority or discipline. Lin plays hard every second he’s out there (and takes a beating too) and there aren’t many NBA players you can say that about. It’s why I still have a high regard for Kobe. And KG, Pierce and Ray Allen are always exciting to watch up in Beantown cause tho past their primes they may be (all in their mid 30’s), they never let up. Carmelo is 8 or 9 years younger than any of those guys…so no excuses. Carmelo—are you listening? Also got high hopes that Baron Davis still has something left in his tank. He can be as good as anyone when he’s on…and he’s had moments that remind you how amazing he was in his best and healthiest days.

POST KNICK CELTIC CLASH YESTERDAY: Well, it was close and it was fierce (or is that Pierce?) but somehow even when it seemed it coulda gone either way, I didn’t think the Knicks would do it. Part perennial pessimism but also part practically obvious. With a DVR that can replay and super slo-mo every play, we can all be courtside surgeons now and that’s what I found myself doing on many plays yesterday. What I saw was that when Lin drove to the hole still looking to dish off—no one was open and no one was even moving! At least that's how it appeared on the half dozen or so plays I reviewed. But gotta credit Celtic D too...they were mad dogs all game long. Lin is a bit more reckless than judicious right now, but comparing his drives with Rondo’s forays to the hoop, you can see the difference in how his teammates react and anticipate.

Rondo (18-20-17 ... Only two other point guards have had 15-15-15 games in the past 25 years. Jason Kidd and Magic Johnson-though Rondo did it with an overtime period---but still did it in 47 minutes. ) is undoubtedly the more seasoned and skilled player despite his shooting woes, and it helps that he’s also a bit more durable physically—but if the Knicks had someone like Ray Allen (or the revelation to me since I don't follow the Celtics --Brandon Bass!) tirelessly working to get open and running off screens, Lin would have more success (read: options) and fewer turnovers. I think Shumpert, Fields, Jeffries and Novak and even Davis are better in touch with the flow and more in sync with Lin's rhythms than Amare and Carmelo...Chandler is going to adapt no matter what though, and without his defensive intensity it's all a moot point...but hope springs eternal and now with 10 strong and healthy bodies to play with it should be fun for the rest of the way.

And I don’t care how many points Carmelo puts up…he’s still the 600 lb elephant in the room that no one wants to acknowledge is taking up too much space. The guy is a scoring magician at times…but like many a magician, he specializes in making those around him disappear. But he played some defense yesterday, so I’ll cut him some slack and hope for the best.

My son, Eli, sent me the revised draft of the sit-com pilot he wrote with my other son Will. I thought the last one was great. This one’s even better. I wish I had “green light” power, I’d switch it on in a heartbeat.

Mentioned Matt Munisteri (Thanks to Dave Shapiro) a few posts back and found this online. Kind of a cool video, and a taste of what he does…but just a taste. You’ll find a more varied and eclectic mix of him in various settings if you search a little.



Don’t have much else today, except some leftover table scraps (mostly Jewish/Yiddish quotes) that I had considered using in previous posts but for some reason or another didn’t make the cut.


My father never lived to see his dream come true of an all-Yiddish-speaking Canada.
David Steinberg

I'm not really a Jew; just Jew-ish.
And the only time I feel like a full jew is around Anti-Semites.
Jonathan Miller

I was raised in the Jewish tradition, taught never to marry a Gentile, women shave on Saturday and most especially never to shave a Gentile woman on Saturday.
Woody Allen

Look at Jewish history. Unrelieved lamenting would be intolerable. So, for every ten Jews beating their breasts, God designated one to be crazy and amuse the breast-beaters. By the time I was five I knew I was that one.
Mel Brooks

Some Yiddish expressions (in translation)

If you want your dreams to come true, don't sleep.

A man is not honest simply because he never had a chance to steal

Man plans and God laughs.

The girl who can't dance says the band can't play.

That which is practiced in youth will be pursued in old age.

It never rose and it never flew
Figurative translation: It is bullshit!

When a fool is silent, he too is counted among the wise.

Troubles and soup is better than just troubles alone.

And this leftover from marriage post many months ago…

A man and a woman cannot live together without having against each other a kind of everlasting joke. Each has discovered that the other is a fool, but a great fool. This largeness, this grossness and gorgeousness of folly is the thing which we all find about those with whom we are in intimate contact; and it is the one enduring basis of affection, and even of respect. G.K. Chesterton.

Assorted One Liners

I'm not into working out. My philosophy: No pain, no pain.

Where are we going? And why am I in this handbasket?

I always wanted to be somebody, but I should have been more specific.

Please, if you ever see me getting beaten up by the police, please put your video camera down and help me
 --Bobcat Goldthwait

From very young ages, my nephews Brian and Gabe (my sister Debby and her husband Bill’s sons) were gifted musicians while their sister Heidi was an equally gifted fine artist and dancer. Brian went from guitar to bass and still plays (I hope) for fun, and now works as an independent Digital Guru in internet marketing doing stuff too advanced for me to understand let alone describe, and after a successful run as a Google Ad and Marketing maven, Heidi has returned to her artistic roots and is doing Graduate work in preparation for a career in Art Curating.



Left to right: Brother Dan, Brian, Debby, Bill, me, Gabe (in boat), Heidi.

CLICKING ON PIC SHOULD ENLARGE THEN CLICK X UPPER RIGHT TO RETURN.

In hindsight, the talent in the latest generation should come as no surprise. Bill is a brilliant and innovative landscape architect. Debby is a potter,craftsperson, flutist, and singer (current member of a local choir) And the larger gene pool includes my brother Dan who is both musical and artistic and is now a dedicated classical piano student, my twin sister Naomi who is a painter (as was my father--both highly gifted) and former dancer, and her daughters; one of whom is a Theatre Director, another a former dancer and yet another who was a basketball phenom in high school and even played cello for a while. Plus, my mother sang beautifully and played piano better than any of us. Then there's my wife Ellen who is a much better artist (particularly in Watercolors) than she believes...my sons Eli and Will who both write and play piano and guitar respectively... and of course, me, amateur musician who is also (drum roll please) the blogger who (with the help of over 250 mysterious Russians, Germans and Brits) has just passed the 2000 page view milestone. I believe that equals the number of twitter views that Jeremy Lin gets every four seconds.

But of all the musicians in the family, Gabe was the one who pursued music as a career... and as a hobbyist musician who has a pretty good ear but has had to put in long hard hours of practice and study to develop what little technique I have, I am in awe of Gabe’s gifts. Seemingly overnight he went from noodling on the piano to being able to swing, stomp, rock, boogie, shuffle and funk it up with the melodic, harmonic and syncopated sophistication of a seasoned pro. Damned if I can figure out how he did it (without formal training--though I believe his brother gave him a few valuable lessons early on)—but did it he did, and do it he does, as a master drummer, guitarist, keyboard player and now (so I hear) mandolin player.

So no big surprise that at the same age as I was when wandering the streets of Greenwich Village checking out (and merely admiring) the talent at clubs like The Vanguard and 7th Ave. South—Gabe is, and has been for a few years now, the drummer (and more) in the Bill Medley Band (Bill is the righteous survivor of what was once the powerhouse duo of The Righteous Brothers)and proud uncle that I am…I just gotta get him up here for all to see and hear.

Here he is tickling the ivories accompanying Bill's daughter McKenna, plucking the strings and singing (on a song he wrote with her: note to cameraman: more guitar player please) and a short clip hitting the skins…and if you’re so inclined you can find assorted other stuff from Medley and Gabe on YouTube… enjoy.










There is two kinds of music, the good, and the bad. I play the good kind.
Louis Armstrong