A Mugging Epilogue

On a winter’s eve crepuscular.

Snuck upon me a mugger muscular.

As his gun turned me minuscular.

I almost burst something corpuscular.

A lot (inordinately so?) of words relating to shiny things begin with “gl”…

glisten, gleam, glint, glare, glam, glimmer, glaze, glassy, glitz, gloss, glow, and glitter.

I think euphonious is one hell of a euphonious word.

And cacophonous is one hell of a cacophonous word. 

I was 7 years old during the 1960 presidential campaign (and turned 8 shortly after the election) and have vivid memory of watching the Party conventions on TV.  The entire thing struck me as so absurd and silly that I couldn't understand why all the adults were paying attention to it.  The delegates were wearing goofy hats and buttons and getting all worked up every time some speaker yelled something nasty about the other party while pointing his finger like a scolding elementary school Principal.   I simply couldn't process how this was considered serious business.  If you take away the occasional mention of an issue or policy position, what's left isn't all that different from a Professional Wrestling Event.  Why do we seem to forget the wisdom gained in childhood?

But you can always count on Madison Avenue to make sense of it all and put things in the proper perspective...

What you won't hear at either Convention...

I would like to thank my lovely wife, my terrific children, my inspirational parents and most of all, my amazing personal physician who introduced me to the wonders of Paxil.

All those jobs we've outsourced overseas, all the manufacturing infrastructure we've built abroad in foreign lands...well, it's never, never, ever coming back!

 Religion has as much to do with good governance as table-manners has to do with good nutrition. 

It's time for America to sit back, accept our inevitable decline and start taking Siestas!

The only way to stem the tide of over-population and hunger in the  world is to introduce the one thing that will solve both.  Cannibalism.

I stand before you as a man thoroughly compromised, politically neutered and 100% bought and paid for by those without whom you would all be paying for your own strip-club lap dances, all-you-can-eat buffets and mini-bar purchases at your hotel. 


I do not say that..."These capitalists generally act harmoniously and in concert to fleece the people, and now that they have got into a quarrel with themselves, we are called upon to appropriate the people's money to settle the quarrel."  

And the reason I don't say that is because Abraham Lincoln said it first.  

Ladies and gentlemen, lets' all put our hands together and join in singing "Which Side Are You On?" with a great American...Mr. Pete Seeger!

Hasn't been as hot a summer as some predicted-- though it's still far from over--and I'm inclined to use the AC as little as possible for various reasons, one of which is the feeling that the heat provides an effective motivator for slowing down and "chillin".  And since I work in climate controlled environments, I actually look forward to the change of pace of just getting some outside air, regardless of its temperature.  

While surfing images from an earlier era, found  some tips on beating the heat circa 1953

But sister Deb has the best solution.  Wear a Wet shirt!

One more thing...came across this pic too during my time machine travels and couldn't help but wonder what the reaction would be today to this shot taken back in the day of no seat belts or bike helmets.  Some might surmise that folks  were foolish ignorant back then, while I'm inclined to think that we've all devolved into chronic paranoia and unreasonable anxiety.    Didn't Michael Jackson take a lot of heat for holding his kid like this on a balcony somewhere?  

WOOD YOU BELIEVE?

Came across this article at aldaily.com (linking to Slate.com) 

http://www.slate.com/articles/business/transport/2012/08/pallets_the_single_most_important_object_in_the_global_economy_.single.html

ALL ABOUT THE PALLET...

"...arguably as integral to globalization as containers. For an invisible object, they are everywhere:   There are said to be billions circulating through global supply chain (2 billion in the United States alone). Some 80 percent of all U.S. commerce is carried on pallets. So widespread is their use that they account for, according to one estimate, more than 46 percent of total U.S. hardwood lumber..."

...remarkable example of a ubiquitous object which appears in form and function to be  almost the antithesis of everything we associate with the modern world, and yet it is the very glue that connects all the parts of that world together.  And if the story of the pallet strikes your fancy, you'll probably get a kick out of the ...

 “raggle stick,” another quietly ubiquitous feature of the supply chain. Raggle sticks are the scalloped pieces of wood or plastic you’ve no doubt seen (or better yet, not seen) used to help efficiently stack pipes or rods on the back of trucks. They are basically pallets for round objects...."

So after reading the article, I'm now wondering if I'm a latecomer to the Pallet party and whether this simple serving platter has also proven itself useful outside its heroic performance in the role of transport serving platter.  And lo and behold...I find that they are ...

Wish I had known about them before we started building in the Springs.  
(Yeah, right, who am I foolin?)  Fat chance we would have put up something like this...

 Don't think my fellow Drifters would have found it... Palletable...(I heard that groan) But I just might start thinking about some small scale things that may solve the problem of storing and housing some stuff like our (still to be procured) Kayak and Sunfish.  Maybe some kind of modular mount for stacking the two...ah, nothin like pondering the evolving vision of a soon to be tackled project.  Usually beats doing the actual project itself.  

 

Assorted stuff...

Beginning with this bit of inspired blarney which brother in law (LB) sent my way and gets my Gold medal for best Olympic Games commentary...ever. 

From Paula Poundstone:

"I think adults are always asking kids what they want to be when they grow up because they're looking for ideas."

"Remember when environmentalists were the people who didn’t throw garbage out the car window?"

“When you see an adverb, kill it.” 

--Mark Twain

 Unless of course,  you're writing  Tom Swifties: 

“There's no air in the tire,” Tom said flatly.

“I unclogged the drain with a vacuum cleaner,” said Tom succinctly.

“Go to the back of the ship,” said Tom sternly.

“I lost the toothpaste,” said Tom, crestfallen.

The Agra Vation. It's actually a very non-aggravating beetle, just one of over 40,000 species found in the family Carabidae--famous for being able to shoot hot, poisonous chemicals from its backside when annoyed. It is found in the Peruvian Amazon,near the borders with Brazil and Colombia. 

Farting on a crowded elevator is wrong…on so many levels.

What a six year old has probably never heard…

Roll-up your window

Put on side two of that album

I ran out of film

I’ll look at the map

tick-tock, tick-tock

I’ll just white it out.

He Keeps banker’s hours

Let the ink dry

Untangle the phone cord

I’ll call when I get to a phone

The picture tube is shot

 Things that years from now  I hope a six year old will hear:

I grew up in Guatamala, but  now I'm a US citizen. 

We prefer the Public School

Let's  take the Train

I'll have tap water

We're union members.

He was democratically elected. 

I read it in the Newspaper

Now that's good Journalism.

Want some Tuna for lunch?

Aha ha  is a species of Australian wasp. It was named by the entomologist Arnold Menke in 1977 who exclaimed those words upon receipt of a long awaited delivery of a package of specimens 

Considered sharing some thoughts about the movie Beasts of The Southern Wild that Ellen and I saw recently.  But I have to recuse myself since both of us suffered from severe seasickness throughout the entire flick. Ellen in fact felt so ill from the effects of the award winning cinematography that I had to physically support her just to make it out of the theater and back to the car.  We had dinner plans with her cousin after the movie and the moment the credits began to roll at the end, I heard Ellen moan " I'm sick, we have to go home".   

The hand-held (I did some research and discovered that the DP used an Easy-Rig from the hip for the entire shoot--which is like the opposite of a Steadi-cam  and pretty much guarantees a lot of excess motion)  approach to shooting with a deliberately "shaky" effect is often (too often) employed to create a "real" cinema verite look--which to some enhances the sense of "authenticity", while to others (like me and Ellen) only serves to enhance the sense that we're in a rowboat rolling over swell after swell in a  storm tossed sea.   Funny thing is that neither of us complained to the other during the movie because: 
1. I thought she was enjoying it and didn't want to be a grouch.
2. I went in and out of consciousness so it didn't really matter. 
3. She was actually feeling too sick to talk.

We both thought the movie was worthy of discussion and certainly provocative in many ways--but the lingering  effects of the visually induced nausea has kept us from speaking a single word about it ever since. 

Personal note to the Director:  I understand the limitations of small budget independent filmmaking, so I would be proud and honored to donate one sturdy and dependable tripod for use on your next project. 

Just another way of saying "count your blessings" with a bit of support data.

From the Drifter Hmmm?...book.

Mitt Romney is credited with having had the insight, foresight, skill, knowledge and expertise to build a very large and very successful investment firm—and yet he cannot articulate the simplest of thoughts in plain English. 

Loving all the attention being paid by the "progressive" media to the influence of Ayn Rand on the "presumptive" GOP Veep nominee.  I had a crush on a girl in High School who was enamored of* the Mata Hari of Uber Capitalism but she had no interest or time for my attentions.  Then I read The Fountainhead and I got it.  She was incapable of seeing anything outside the vision of her own delusions of (solo) grandeur. Wonder what happened to her--she sure did have that fierce "Yes I can!" fire in her belly one sees in people like Oprah Winfrey, Bruce Springsteen and Newt Gingrich.

Funny how many movers, shakers, media/entertainment stars and captains of industry were inspired by the scribblings of that "Will to Power" evangelist.  Including the former Dough Doyen turned "D'oh, my bad"  Fed Head Alan Greenspan.  I went looking for the picture of young Alan (who in his early years aspired to saxophone glory but didn't have the chops-or soul?- for it) sitting, literally, at the feet of Rand in her apartment in the 1950's, and it has apparently disappeared in the digital ether.  Wonder if Greenspan bought the embarrassing shot in order to keep it out of public view.  Now it's Paul Ryan's turn to answer questions about his infatuation with the exalted mistress of materialism and so far it seems like he's running for the hills--but I doubt this is an issue that could spell trouble for him since the vast majority of FOX followers are probably thinking " What kind of name is Ayn?"

I Remember when Greenspan emitted a huge and strangely underreported Mea Culpa when pushed by questioning in the wake of the economic meltdown--which was abetted in no small part by his own faith in the power of mighty men to shape the world in their own perfect images:

"I have found a flaw" in free market theory, Greenspan said under intense questioning by Representative Henry Waxman.

Pressed by Waxman, Greenspan conceded a more serious flaw in his own philosophy that unfettered free markets sit at the root of a superior economy.

"I made a mistake in presuming that the self-interests of organizations, specifically banks and others, were such as that they were best capable of protecting their own shareholders and their equity in the firms," Greenspan said.

Waxman pushed the former Fed chief, who left office in 2006, to clarify...

"In other words, you found that your view of the world, your ideology, was not right, it was not working," Waxman said.

"Absolutely, precisely," Greenspan replied. "You know, that's precisely the reason I was shocked, because I have been going for 40 years or more with very considerable evidence that it was working exceptionally well."

"I made a mistake in presuming..."?    
The guy was paid to oversee and chose to overlook. 

Well, what did you expect from someone who made it no secret that he subscribed to the Objectivist ** philosophy of his misanthropic muse who said:

"Civilization is the progress toward a society of privacy. The savage’s whole existence is public, ruled by the laws of his tribe. Civilization is the process of setting man free from men."

"Man’s unique reward, however, is that while animals survive by adjusting themselves to their background, man survives by adjusting his background to himself."

Funny that this constitutes for some an attractive recipe for an appetizing world.  Sounds to me more like a formula for a future full of ethnic cleansings, famines, melting ice caps and restricted golf and country clubs.  

THIS JUST IN:  COLLEAGUE (A.K) JUST INFORMED ME:

"Mitt Romney and Paul Ryan" is an anagram for "My ultimate Ayn Rand porn".

*Or is it enamored with or enamored by?   Looks like the OED accepts of, with, and by:

**Calling her philosophy "Objectivism" was a clever move. How can you argue with something that defines itself as "objective"?    

You must believe in free will!
Mustn't you?

Whatever happened to the Zither?

Imagine trying to learn English and being told that noses run and feet smell?

“Self-denial is indulgence of a propensity to forgo.” -Ambrose Bierce

HE REALLY SAID THAT? :

“The president has kept all the promises he intended to keep.” -George Stephanopolous

Dialogue between Lisa Simpson and Supreme Court Justice Clarence Thomas.  (All dialogue is guaranteed verbatim from official record)

Lisa Simpson: “So we’ll march day and night by the big cooling tower. They have the plants but we have the power.”

Clarence Thomas:

Lisa: Maybe you ate a clove!

Clarence:

Lisa:  Prayer. The last refuge of a scoundrel.

Clarence:

Lisa: Why do I get the feeling that someday I’ll be describing this to a psychiatrist?

Clarence:

Lisa: Wish I’d thought of that.

Clarence:

Lisa: If anyone wants me, I’ll be in my room.

Clarence:

Lisa: It’s awful being a kid. No one listens to you.

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BTW:  If you search for Clarence Thomas quotes, you"ll come across...

"I have to admit that I’m one of those people that still thinks the dishwasher is a miracle. What a device! And I have to admit that because I think that way, I like to load it. I like to look in and see how the dishes were magically cleaned."

If I had no reason other than this to doubt the man's "depth perception",  this statement alone would suffice.
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Currently reading...  True Story.  Parallel narratives about Arthur Conan Doyle and man named George  Edalji who was framed by the police (for mutilating farm animals and writing threatening letters) , convicted, and sentenced to penal servitude. Doyle (akin to Zola and Dreyfus) comes to his defense which ultimately leads to the creation of the first British Court of Appeals.  A bit slow at the outset, but picks up with brilliant account of legal drama and  heartbreaking at times.  Barnes is impressive-- filling in and deepening the personal within the context of the  documented record. It was turned into a play and was adapted for an episode on BBC anthology The Edwardians.  Brother in Law Stu just loaned me other Barnes book The Sense of an Ending...will get to it next.  

Buy me! Boil me!  Eat me!
Last year my off-the-boat selling price was $3 per pound.
Right now,I'm $1.35."

Crazy man, crazy.  The surf in your 'Surf and Turf' may be cheaper than your turf...at least if you're in and around Maine.  "The near-saturation of the market is thought to have been caused by warmer waters off the New England coast, increasing the food supply and drawing the lobster out into the open earlier than usual."  Gotta feel for the struggling Lobstermen.

The following statement is very important.

The previous statement is irrelevant.