Wanna Be Amazed? 

The LIRR is coming to Grand Central Station.
The $8.4 billion (current estimate) project commenced construction in November 1969 and is the biggest mass-transit construction project under way in the U.S.--and designed to bring trains from Long Island to the east side station (supplementing and taking some of the load off westside Penn Station) at the end of this decade.  It's an astonishing feat of modern engineering.  When I watched the workmen at my local Metro-North stop restore the original 1888 abandoned station and convert it into a Restaurant/Bar, I was in awe as they combined math, muscle and creative ingenuity to modernize an old ruin in ways that brought it back to beautiful life. 

But a project like this is in a league of its own.

Every time I ride the subway I try to wrap my head around what it took to get that done and wonder if thousands of years from now people will still be talking about it like we do today about Ancient Rome, The Pyramids and Machu Picchu.  And as I searched for more info on the LIRR at GCS I grew more amazed as I learned about the many steps (and mis-steps) that this One Hundred and Forty Feet below street level project has taken over the last 40 years--which seems like a long time until you understand what it entailed and then you can't imagine how they could do it so fast.    But then I came across this....

"To circulate some 80,000 commuters per day through the new station, the MTA will rely on a complex system of 47 escalators, some stretching 180 feet long and sinking more than 90 feet down, dwarfing any other in the city's transit system.  And the success of the new station is riding in large part on how well they work."  
                                                                                        --Wall Street Journal 

Escalators?  47 escalators?  Some 180 feet long?  At Grand Central Station?   Don't they know the history of escalators at GCS?   Do they know what this means?  Please, someone stop them before 8.4 billion dollars goes down the drain and 80,000 commuters meet their Sisyphean fate!

Wanna Laugh?
Joke that an IT guy at the office told me.

The programmer's wife tells him: "Run to the store and pick up a loaf of bread, and if they have eggs, get a dozen."  The programmer comes home with 12 loaves of bread.

<< And this math test answer is a classic.

Wanna Cry?
Friend gifted me Elsewhere: A Memoir by Richard Russo. Primarily about his mother, and though leavened by Russo's deft comic touches, it's a haunting tale about a troubled woman--providing some interesting insights into the novelist Russo grew to be.   Have read most of Russo's books and my affection for  his work no doubt is adding to my sympathetic reading.

Wanna Dance?
Few months back, Ellen and I took a Salsa dance lesson (actually won it at a fund-raising auction) with our friends Alex and Karen.  Our instructor brought a Marc Anthony CD for us to practice to.  Never paid attention to him before--but he's killer and the band behind him is scary great. Now if I could only remember those steps...

Wanna Bet ?

For upcoming wedding anniversary, care to wager that I can convince my wife to take me up on my offer of a 365 day stay at home trip around the sun? 

Odds: 100,000 : 1  

Books. Your key to better health.

Natural. Safe. And proven effective for the treatment of...

Memory Loss:  Open a copy of Tolstoy's War and Peace to list of characters.   Beginning with Bezukhov, Count Kirill Vladimirovich, learn 4 names every 8 hours until all are memorized.   Be sure to include character details where provided, i.e. Sofya Alexandrovna--orphaned cousin of the younger Rostovs. 

Insomnia: Obtain a copy of "The Beast in the Jungle" by Henry James. Climb into bed.  Arrange pillows and blankets for comfort.  Begin reading.  Drowsiness should commence almost immediately.  Repeat as often as necessary.

Somnambulism  Collect complete works of Joyce Carol Oates, Stephen King and R.L. Stine.  Scatter the books on the floor throughout the house.  This will disrupt routes taken during sleepwalking and most likely prevent room to room walking of any kind in any size house. 

Attention Deficit Disorder :  Listen to the Audio version of The Pale King by David Foster Wallace. (Important: Must include footnotes).  As soon as you've lost contact with his train of thought and begun wondering about how many different kinds of Pez dispensers there are, quickly switch to audio version of Dog of the South by Charles Portis and your attention to the audio will return with clarity and focus as you discover that you don't have A.D.D. at all, and it's just that some things aren't worth the attention.  

Compulsive overeating:  Put aside your Kindle, iPad, smart-phone or other digital reading devices.  Get hold of a large hardcover unabridged non-fiction book--preferably an account of a major war or long historical era.  Book should be minimum of 900 pages.  Read uninterruptedly during waking hours.  Note:  You Must Hold book in your hands at all times.  Do not rest on table or lap.  You should see positive results within three to four hundred pages. 

Depression: If, as some say, depression is rage and resentment minus enthusiasm, then what you need is a safe outlet for your anger. So, proceed to your nearest bookstore or library and find all the novels written by Ayn Rand. Remove them from the shelves and re-file them under Fantasy/Horror. Those with fiction allergies, substitute with a copy of anything written by a Rand acolyte--list includes Alan Greenspan, Clarence Thomas, Paul Ryan, Ron Paul, Rush Limbaugh... 

Chronic Anxiety: Go online and search for Eric Hoffer quotes.  Print out all the quotes that relate to fear, purpose, confusion, self doubt, self esteem etc.   Cut out the quotes into individual units. Scotch tape the quotes on walls and furniture all around your house.  If you fail to see results within first week, supplement  with regular reading of Paul Krugman's column on NY Times Op-Ed page and consider that despite what he knows, and what he sees coming, he remains a pretty happy guy with a pretty good life.

Osteoporosis: 
For healthier bones and stronger muscles...

Step 1: Procure multiple copies (4-8) of Pale Fire by Vladimir Nabokov.
Step 2: Glue all the books together and attach a strap or handle to the combined unit.
Step 3:  Attach 4-8 feet (depending on your height ) of rope or durable cord to handle.
Step 4:  Hold other end of rope and begin swinging books in a wide arc over your head.
Step 5:  Continue swinging at ever accelerating speed.  (Feel the burn!)
Step 6:  Release the rope and let the pedantry fly.
Step 7:  Repeat Step 4-6  three times daily until you are able to send the books over the roof of your house, across the avenue and into the dumpster behind the CVS pharmacy--where (if desirous of continuing treatment) you can retrieve it later on your way to filling all your non-literary chemical based prescriptions.
  

When Elmore "Dutch" Leonard died last week, it was prominent front page news in the New York Times. It was a gladdening sight on a sad day, because I always thought that despite his (late-earned) notoriety and reputation for pitch-perfect dialogue, he was under-appreciated for the other qualities that made his books much more than stylish pop thrillers.  In fact, his books were rarely thrillers and rarely plot driven.

He was all about character and morality. And by creating so many amoral characters, he revealed more about the nature of human existence than many writers who take the more direct route.     His early westerns (Hombre, Valdez is Coming, The Law at Randado and dozens of short stories) are uniformly terrific, and politically, socially and psychologically more complex than most of the contemporary crime novels that followed. But he wrote 45 novels, and there's not a bad one in the bunch...well, maybe Djibouti, but he was already past 80 with that one and had set the bar so high, he was bound to come up short eventually.  I think I've read everything he wrote, and my memory isn't what it used to be, but if I were to try and pick some favorites they would be :

Hombre 

Valdez is Coming 

The Tonto Woman and Other Western Stories

Fifty-Two Pickup 

City Primeval 

Cat Chaser 

Labrava 

Glitz 

Bandits 

Freaky Deaky 

Get Shorty 

Rum Punch 

Riding the Rap 

When The Women Come Out to Dance (Short Story collection)

Out of Sight 

Pagan Babies 

The Hot Kid 

“I'm very much aware in the writing of dialogue, or even in the narrative too, of a rhythm. There has to be a rhythm with it … Interviewers have said, you like jazz, don’t you? Because we can hear it in your writing. And I thought that was a compliment.” 

“I started out of course with Hemingway when I learned how to write. Until I realized Hemingway doesn't have a sense of humor. He never has anything funny in his stories.” 

"If an adverb became a character in one of my books, I'd have it shot. Immediately."

Elmore Leonard's Ten Rules of Writing

1. Never open a book with weather.

2. Avoid prologues.

3. Never use a verb other than "said" to carry dialogue.

4. Never use an adverb to modify the verb "said”…he admonished gravely.

5. Keep your exclamation points under control. You are allowed no more than two or three per 100,000 words of prose. 

6. Never use the words "suddenly" or "all hell broke loose."

7. Use regional dialect, patois, sparingly.

8. Avoid detailed descriptions of characters.

9. Don't go into great detail describing places and things.

10. Try to leave out the part that readers tend to skip.

My most important rule is one that sums up the 10.

If it sounds like writing, I rewrite it.”

R.I.P.

Taking a break... and putting it in Park for a week (or more?) during which time I intend to limit my digital activities to deleting e-mail, ignoring texts and playing Freecell.  Thanks, as always, for stopping by and hope you'll come again when the Drifter returns. 

Back in the day, I’ve heard many say, 

the music in the air was sublimer

John and Paul led the way, Motown hits everyday

 That Tambourine man a mystical rhymer

 There's no satisfaction like The Stones they lament

Smokey, Stevie and Marvin—Aretha! Heaven sent. 

  Where'd they go? They persist in making their point

The Bottom Line’s gone...now that was some joint! 

But put memories aside and it sure seems to me

The past ain't got nothing on the present--cause you see
If you dig a little deeper --beyond mainstream hype
there's a treasure overflowing with sounds you might like

exotic blends and sonic gems from folks both near and far

From Nashville Tennessee to Nome—Cameroon to Kandahar

Where it's all about the music, from the fancy to the plain

Choose your route and punch your ticket on a worldwide Soul train*

 Record label A&R men who back then ruled the air

Are gone and good riddance, cause now we all share

Up on YouTube and Facebook and up in the cloud

Invite all your friends till they grow to a crowd

Oh, The Beatles were fab, and still are --yeah yeah yeah 

good vibrations from the Beach Boys-- they're felt everywhere

but today I listened to a group that was playing

from a  farm in the boonies (I could hear donkeys braying)

with harmonies soaring, with something to say

they moved me to tears.  Golden age?  It's today.**


*... and if you can't find music you like (any kind of music) via the hundreds of digital services dedicated to just that purpose...then you're just not trying. 


**Golden age for listeners that is...but perhaps more challenging for musicians trying to make a living.  The old formula was draconian, but also simpler--get a record deal, or get a day job.  Now with all the old avenues closed, finding new ones can make for a bumpy and unpredictable ride.  Interesting article in New Yorker --http://www.newyorker.com/online/blogs/sashafrerejones/2013/08/how-will-musicians-survive-in-the-spotify-era.html

WORDS WITH FRIENDS

Today's featured game is between Cole Porter and James Brown*

                                                                     c l a s s y

                       e                         s w i n g      o

d e l i g h t f u l               t e a s e         a      r      c

          o o o      a m o u r            x         s o c k i t o m e

          o            t           u     b                               c

          d e l o v e l y      s w e a t                           k i s s e r

    b a g                         t     a          s h o u t s       t

          o o o h b a b y          u           i                    a         h

          d       o    m               t  i  m e l e s s            i         e

                   t     e         h                  k                f  l o o z y

                   p a  n t h e o n                                              y

                   a                n y a i y o o w h a                        e              

                e n r a p t               a                                        a   

                   t                        s h a k e                               h  

                   s w e e t 

         

        * Being held hostage in editing rooms all day.  Thought this might help pass the time. Probably should have thought again. Sorry it came out so askew...tried to align better, but as you can see, couldn't.  Wondering why Brown or Porter would use "rust"?
Well, it shoulda been lined up with the "t" to form Trust...but that threw everything else out of whack and I scared the editor with my howling twice already...and well, never mind...win some, lose some.         

There is a word for it...

Backpfeifengesicht (German) 
A face that cries out for a fist in it.

Viajou Na Maionese (Portuguese)
To live in a dream world.

Ngabanmarneyawoyhw-
arrgahganjginjeng (Aboriginal Mayali)
"I cooked the wrong meat for them again." 

  great bathroom book >>

Started a file years ago and forgot about it and while foraging for something else came upon folder titled "In Translation".  Most of it was culled from research done by Linguist/writer Maria Khodorkovsky and posted online in 2008.

Mamihlapinatapei 
: From Yagan, the indigenous language of the Tierra del Fuego region of South America meaning: 

A wordless yet meaningful look shared by two people who both desire to initiate something but are both reluctant to start.

Jayus
: From Indonesian, meaning a joke so poorly told and so unfunny that one cannot help but laugh.

Prozvonit
: Both Czech and Slovak-- means to call a mobile phone only to have it ring once so that the other person would call back, allowing the caller to save money on minutes.

Kyoikumama: Japanese, this word refers
to a mother who relentlessly pushes her
 children toward academic achievement.

Iktsuarpok: 
From the Inuit, meaning to go outside to check if anyone is coming.

Cafuné: 
From (Brazilian) Portuguese, meaning to tenderly run one’s fingers through someone’s hair.

Tartle: A Scottish verb meaning to hesitate while introducing someone due to having forgotten his/her name.

Torschlusspanik
: From German, this word literally means “gate-closing panic” and is used to describe the fear of diminishing opportunities as one ages--most frequently applied to women racing against  the “biological clock”.

Tingo
: From the Pascuense language
of Easter Island, it is the act of taking
objects one desires from the house of a friend
by gradually borrowing all of them.

Ilunga: 
From the Tshiluba language spoken in south-eastern Democratic Republic of the Congo. Ilunga indicates a person who is ready to forgive any abuse the first time it occurs, to tolerate it the second time, but to neither forgive nor tolerate a third offense.

Wabi-Sabi
:  Japanese concept; it's a way of living that emphasizes finding beauty in imperfection, and accepting the natural cycle of growth and decay. 

Duende: 
 It’s original use was to describe a mythical entity that lives in forests-- updated by the Spanish poet and playwright, Federico García Lorca, in the early 20th century, now generally refers to the mysterious power of a work of art to deeply move someone.

Elizeth Moreira Cardoso (sometimes, Elizete Cardoso) 

First recorded  Chega de Saudade on album written by 

Vinicius de Moraes and Tom Jobim: Canção do Amor Demais,

which was also the first album of bossa nova.

Saudade.  
This Portuguese word refers to the feeling of longing for something or someone that you love and which is lost.  Also part of the title to one of my favorite (and historically significant because it was the very first Bossa Nova hit song) tunes:  Chega De Saudade...
which was translated into English by Jon Hendricks with the title No More Blues. 

This is Joao Gilberto, who made it a hit in 1959 --sharing the stage with his brave 13 year old daughter Isabel...who grew up to be Bebel!  Not the most polished or exciting version, in fact, pretty sloppy ...but there's something sweet about the father/daughter thing, and that marvelous meandering melody is all that really matters...even when sung slightly off key. 

I want my epitaph to read:
"Select All.  Delete."

Seems a fitting way to shuffle off this mortal coil during which I've spent countless hours devoted to the task of weeding my digital garden in order to create some space for the cultivation of more soulful plantings.   In short, my vocational obligations are crowding out my avocational enthusiasms and leaving me no choice but to search the archives for  past posts that (with a little tweaking here and there) might serve to keep this blog from wilting any further due to chronic neglect.  Here's something I found in my "Drafts" folder, which may or may not look familiar since I've no idea if I posted it before and haven't the time or inclination to confirm one way or the other.



All bloggers 
are not writers; 

 all writers are not essayists;

and all essayists are not Arthur Krystal.

Ellen and I met Arthur (who I've written about before) through our friends Eda and Richard. And when I saw that the book I was looking at on Eda's coffee table had his name on it, I was intrigued. So I got a copy of Agitations (or did he lend me his? Or was that Eda's?) and I read it cover to cover in one day.  He's written three books of collected essays. Witty, scholarly, unpretentious, lively and all terrific. And you can find out more with interviews and selected essays online if you want to sample.

by Arthur Krystal

Agitations: Essays on Life and Literature
The Half-Life of an American Essayist
Except When I Write: Reflections of a Recovering Critic

See:  http://www.amazon.com/Arthur-Krystal/e/B001HMOEB6

In Except When I Write, Arthur has an essay: Too True: The Art of The Aphorism. It's revelatory, just like all the others. And ever since reading it I've periodically entertained myself by looking for aphorisms old and new -- for me it's like noshing from a bag of assorted bite size brain candy. So, in his honor, here's a small sampling of what I've found with snide asides thrown in for a little call and response effect.

Tell a man there are 300 billion stars in the universe and he'll believe you. Tell him a bench has wet paint on it and he'll have to touch it to be sure. ~Murphy's Law

Which is to say we'd probably try counting the stars too if we thought we could.


How is it that our memory is good enough to retain the least triviality that happens to us, and yet not good enough to recollect how often we have told it to the same person? ~François Duc de La Rochefoucauld


Probably because deep down, we don't really believe anyone is ever really listening to us.

The odds of going to the store for a loaf of bread and coming out with only a loaf of bread are three billion to one. ~Erma Bombeck



This could only ring true to a woman. A man would be more inclined to forget the bread and that's only if he also didn't  forget to go to the store.

A bargain is something you can't use at a price you can't resist. ~Franklin P. Jones



See previous

What you discover about life's shell game is that it's hardest to follow the pea when you're the pea. ~Robert Brault,
I know it's one of those forest for the trees things, but maybe it's not being the pea that makes it hard, it's being in the dark.

You can start a fire with one match, or with the very last match from a box of matches ~Christy Whitehead



Cause necessity is the mother of invention and luxury is the enemy of care.

The man who says he is willing to meet you halfway is usually a poor judge of distance. ~Author Unknown



Gotta love it.

Lie and say you were late for work because you had a flat tire, and the next day you will have a flat tire. ~Author Unknown


Karma.



If you wish to forget anything on the spot, make a note that this thing is to be remembered. ~Edgar Allan Poe



So throw your PDA in the trash.

People who snore always fall asleep first. ~Author Unknown



Gotta love that too.

The trouble with, "A place for everything and everything in its place" is that there's always more everything than places.  ~Robert Brault
Especially if you live in an NYC apartment.




Amount of time it takes for a dog to "do its business" is directly proportional to outside temperature + suitability of owner's outerwear. ~Betsy Cañas Garmon
In my experience, the dog will do his business in his own good time...cause he hasn't  any concept of time.


There are many in this old world of ours who hold that things break about even for all of us. I have observed for example that we all get the same amount of ice. The rich get it in the summertime and the poor get it in the winter. ~Bat Masterson
I only include this cause I never saw him quoted before.  Clever cowboy.


No one is listening until you fart. ~Author Unknown



Or until you tell that same story you told before?

Interchangeable parts don't, leakproof seals aren't, and self-starters won't. ~Author Unknown



Playing with syntax is always fun...so silliness is forgiven.

The Act of God designation on all insurance policies... means roughly that you cannot be insured for the accidents that are most likely to happen to you. ~Alan Coren, The Lady from Stalingrad Mansions, 1977
Can an atheist policy holder appeal?