Imagine an episode of All in the Family...


... stretched out into two long Acts, then subtract all the humor, sharply etched characterizations  (and professional comic timing), energy and vulgar vaudevillian slapstick (I mean that in a good way ) then proceeding at a glacial pace--add a triple double shot of "Let's talk in pseudo intellectual euphemisms about liberal guilt and entrenched white middle class cluelessness and pretend we're talking about other people who can't own up to their racist attitudes and prejudices until suddenly we realize that (gotcha!)  we're really talking about ourselves"  and you've got the (I shit you not) Pulitzer Prize Winning??!! play--Clybourne Park.    I'm still recovering from my battle with that Harbach book that rhymes with The Fart of Yielding...and just yesterday I resolved to resist the dark temptations of critical disdain, so I'll move on, and, oh the hell with it...some things are just irresistible...

TOP TEN REASONS TO SEE A BROADWAY SHOW

10. You’re tired of your old car and if you park it near 12^th Ave. during the show, chances are it will be stolen and you can collect the insurance.

9. Your wife's friend’s  sister-in-law was talking to a neighbor who said her daughter’s roommate “simply adored” it.

8. It’s starring that actress, what's her name?  You know who I mean...she played the adorable Parlor Maid who married the cook on that British show on PBS called... oh, c'mon you know the one. 

7. The Lighting Designer won a Tony.

6. It's the only opportunity you may have to compare and contrast the subtle differences in strength and toxicity among a wide range of brands of ladies perfumes.

5. The Theatre lobby features a newly restored mural depicting the Rape of Persephone as performed by Sarah Bernhardt. 

6. Jonathan Schwartz said the show was “… absolutely wonderful — and almost as thrilling as the time I passed a roll of toilet paper under the stall door to Sinatra in the Copacabana Men’s room.”

5. They have those Super-Size boxes of Jujy Fruits at the snack bar. (Note: remember to go to ATM beforehand so you'll still have enough cash for the $8.75 cup of club soda) 

4. Your doctor told you it’s best to sit upright with your knees pressed together and as close to your face as possible.

3. Show ends before 10 pm—leaving plenty of time to catch 2^nd half of West Coast  playoff game.

2. Your wife wants to go,  and your Mantra for the last 20 years has been:
 " Happy Wife, Happy Life." 

1. Someone told you that “ The Theatre is Dead”, so you’re just going to pay your respects. 

Speaking of those who wish they had taken a pass on that night at the Theatre...

A Lincoln photo I hadn't seen before...dated 1860 by William Church

I find images of Lincoln more moving and evocative than those of any other individual I can think of.  (Louis Armstrong is a close second.)   Of course it's about everything one associates with the man, but somehow I think if I were to somehow be able to erase all that from my mind, I would still find him a striking subject.  And the changes in his face and demeanor over time are a graphic representation of that wrenching era etched in flesh.

And some favorite Honest Abe quotes:

It has been my experience that folks who have no vices have very few virtues.

I fear explanations explanatory of things explained.
The best thing about the future is that it comes only one day at a time.
Most people are about as happy as they make up their minds to be.
No matter how much cats fight, there always seem to be plenty of kittens

In response to a request for a "sentiment and an autograph:"

--Lincoln sent the following.

Dear Madam: 

When you ask from a stranger that which is of interest only to yourself, always enclose a stamp. There's your sentiment, and here's your autograph. 

A. Lincoln