Fun Family weekend.  Sister Deb and Bro-in-Law Bill in town and even got to see their daughter/my niece Heidi and her beau Craig. And my son Will showed up for some of the revels.  Eatin, drinkin, laughin, runnin round doin this that and the other and never a dull or joyless moment.  Good times.  The trick is how to keep em  comin with all the stuff ya gotta do to just give you the opportunity to keep em comin.
Anyways...back to the workplace, back to the duties and chores and back to the digital detritus that constitutes the contents of this space.


There once was a blogger who drifted

So he went to his files and sifted

till he had a collection

a light trite confection

of musings and stuff that he lifted

Whenever I hear "Women are not sex objects!" I always feel that it's missing a critical  qualifier.  "Women are not just sex objects"-- I think is more to the point.  Aren't we all sex objects?  Isn't "sex object" the absolutely indisputable one thing that all living things (and even some non-living as seen above) are?

True Story:  Bought a Chainsaw last weekend. The store was out of stock of the one I wanted so they sold me the one on the display shelf--for which I enquired as to the discount (that I expected) and was told there was none.  There was also no carrying case or even a cardboard box.  Then the salesman proceeds to show me how to operate the machine--I tell him that I know (cause I did a lot of research and chose this particular model primarily based on the ease and simplicity of use and maintenance) but he presses on and goes through each step and has me then do it myself a couple of times until he's satisfied that I have a good chance of surviving whatever activity I might engage in with this deadly weapon of timber destruction.  I grab a splitting hatchet (cause I'm gonna chop my own firewood) and the necessary cans of chain oil, 2 cycle oil for the gas mixture and a plastic gas can. I look at the bill before handing them my credit card and see an unidentified item for $15.  What could that be?

I'm informed that it's for the tutorial I just received on how to operate the saw.  But I didn't ask for it nor was I informed when getting it that it wasn't free.  Doesn't matter I'm told, it's required.  By whom?  By the manufacturer, or so he says.  I raise an eyebrow, let the guy (who isn't particularly friendly or forthcoming) know that I'm not all that pleased but I let it go and go on my way.  I spend the rest of the afternoon deforesting a fair portion of the surrounding woods near the house in order to amass enough lumber to build the small lean-to addition to the primitive bike-rack I've already got pretty much completed.  The chainsaw cuts like butter--Like Buttahhhh! and I'm gaining confidence with every limb that falls that I'm well on my way to having all the wood I'll need for building my ambitious (delusional dream?) mini fortress of solitude.  I get a message on my phone from the store--they want me to call them.  I call them.  They say that they undercharged me for the splitting hatchet.  I owe them $20.  Could I come in and square it that afternoon?  Hmmm.  Should I?  I got no discount on the floor model, they charged me for a tutorial I didn't want or need.  They gave me no carrying case.  They were surly--at best.  (BTW: When I checked them out online they got slammed by a customer in the comments section for ripping them off and being rude to boot).  So I tell em I can't come by that day, but will stop in when I can.  What do you think?  Should I?  Maybe just give em $5 to recoup my loss on the tutorial?  Stiff em?  I'm still thinkin about it. 

Something I never knew...111,111,111 x 111,111,111 = 12,345,678,987,654,321

My dog doesn't like when I blow in her face, but she'll stick her head out the car window when I'm doing 80 on the highway. 

Someone used the term Pavlovian in a meeting at work.  

Someone else asked what it meant, and my colleague (our resident comedian) said 

 "Does the name Pavlov ring a bell?" 

One of my favorite political photos...always wondered if Nikita ever forgot or forgave that Tricky Dick finger.  And check out the interpreter...looks like he's trying to figure out the most diplomatic way to translate "Now you listen to me you commie thug..." 

Under capitalism, man exploits man. Under communism, it’s just the opposite.

aibohphobia - The fear of palindromes.


“Eighty percent of air pollution comes from plants and trees.” -Ronald Reagan

All those who believe in psychokinesis raise my hand.

It struck me the other day when I was on the thruway--I drive way too fast to worry about my cholesterol.

Inspired by Steven Wright...

 Imagine a world without hypothetical situations?

Bumper Sticker I saw in East Hampton:

SUMMER PEOPLE.  SUMMER NOT.

Clever stuff, until I realized that they're talking about me...sorta.  I like to think because our house is way out in the woods and far from the trendy hordes and that we drive sensible cars and we're gonna be using the house year round and we shop at local grocery store and...ah, who am I foolin...for all intents and purposes, we're summer people. 

Wanna visit the 9/11 memorial on the former World Trade Center Site?

It's easy.  Go online.  Fill out long form with all your personal information.

Fill in names of all those who will be joining you.  

Specify date and time you will visit.

Print out your passes (for which you will be required to have Adobe Acrobat on your computer because the passes are only available as PDFs)  

Each pass is a full page 4 color document...so make sure your printer is loaded with plenty of ink.  Be sure to read all instructions regarding proof of identity, limits on bags and contents of bags and directions to single point of entry south of memorial site. 

What if you don't have a computer or know how to use one?

What if you don't know what a PDF is..or how to download an application?

Well, I guess you're out of luck...and I wonder if this process was in some way created to control more than just security and smells just a little of elitism and class discrimination.

and as it turned out, I never went cause had to work.   

You can no more take something off the Internet than take pee out of a pool.

The Psychic Friends Network went bankrupt.

I wonder if they saw it coming.

Information is not knowledge. Knowledge is not wisdom. Wisdom is not truth. Truth is not beauty. Beauty is not love. Love is not music. Music is the best…--Frank Zappa

Newly translated by Chief Justice John Roberts to now read:

Congress shall make no law prohibiting, restricting or otherwise interfering with the freedom of privately or publicly traded businesses to financially underwrite or support campaigns for those seeking popular elected  office. 

My suggested Logo for Mitt Romney Campaign: