Molly Ivins

"Molly Ivins and George W. Bush grew up in the same ’hood. River Oaks was Houston’s toniest address, and their families mingled with other members of the petroleum plutocracy at the nearby country club. Both attended posh local prep schools — St. John’s for Ivins, Kinkaid for Bush — and prestigious institutions in the Northeast — Smith and Columbia for Ivins, Yale and Harvard for Bush."  *

And both in their youth enjoyed periods of libationist liberation from class duty and social obligation --except one was  "born again" and hopped on the wagon to answer the call of his country club benefactors who needed a loyal member to man the front desk by while the other upped the antagonist ante and with pen in hand stayed her rebel course and until the end...reveled without a pause.

 "...no one could zing the scoundrels with quite the flair that Ivins displayed when writing about Congressman Dick Armey: “If ignorance ever goes to $40 a barrel, I want drilling rights on that man’s head.” About Pat Buchanan’s venomous speech at the 1992 Republican National Convention, she observed that it “probably sounded better in the original German.”  *


"Her satire was only the means to an end: holding the powerful accountable."

-Paul Krugman. 

A few months ago, came upon this Molly Ivins collection sitting on the table in our Pantry/Kitchen at work and had a blast reading it on the train going home.  Ivins was like H.L. Mencken or Mark Twain in her talent for cutting to the quick and exposing the vanity and pretense of the rich and powerful --but unlike either, a lifetime spent documenting the dirty details in our political arenas never left her embittered or cynical.  She was having too much fun and she never entertained serious hopes that the world would or could be much other than it was. Though delivering a good punchline often outweighed other considerations, she did her due diligence and (from what I surmised from this collection) knew her history and checked her facts.  A daughter of Texas Oil wealth and privilege, she knew all about the game from the inside and had no qualms about peppering her investigative insights with tasty bits and pieces of "family" secrets culled from many years of having been to the "manor" (sic?) born.

She had a "Purebred Texas Blackhound" (a breed she invented to befuddle pretentious canine connoisseurs)  named Shit...and explained how that came to be...

"I never intended to name the dog Shit. Kaye Northcott foisted the little black puppy on me with a heartless ploy -- left her with me "just for the weekend" and then returned Monday threatening to take her to the pound and have her put to sleep. I was going to name her something lovely, like Athena, but reality intervened. She was the only dog I ever saw that could trip on the pattern in the linoleum, so we called her Shitface for a while, and then it got to be Shit for short and then it was too late"

Above is taken from the obituary she wrote when the dog died...You can read it here:
https://docs.google.com/document/pub
id=1tRafu7FJVlRL8Y0p7dcc9Pf1U432WFe_tw_0m5K04GI

Some choice Molly hooks and uppercuts... 

I am not anti-gun. I'm pro-knife. Consider the merits of the knife. In the first place, you have to catch up with someone in order to stab him. A general substitution of knives for guns would promote physical fitness. We'd turn into a whole nation of great runners. Plus, knives don't ricochet. And people are seldom killed while cleaning their knives.

One function of the income gap is that the people at the top of the heap have a hard time even seeing those at the bottom. They practically need a telescope. The pharaohs of ancient Egypt probably didn't waste a lot of time thinking about the people who built their pyramids, either. OK, so it's not that bad yet -- but it's getting that bad.

I know vegetarians don't like to hear this, but God made an awful lot of land that's good for nothing but grazing.

On Bill Clinton: "If left to my own devices, I'd spend all my time pointing out that he's weaker than bus-station chili. But the man is so constantly subjected to such hideous and unfair abuse that I wind up standing up for him on the general principle that some fairness should be applied. Besides, no one but a fool or a Republican ever took him for a liberal."

I believe all Southern liberals come from the same starting point -- race. Once you figure out they are lying to you about race, you start to question everything.

The next time I tell you someone from Texas should not be president of the United States, please, pay attention.

"I believe ignorance is the root of all evil. 

And that no one knows the truth."

The thing about democracy, beloveds, is that it is not neat, orderly, or quiet. It requires a certain relish for confusion.

Although it is true that only about 20 percent of American workers are in unions, that 20 percent sets the standards across the board in salaries, benefits and working conditions. If you are making a decent salary in a non-union company, you owe that to the unions. One thing that corporations do not do is give out money out of the goodness of their hearts.

My friend Mercedes Pena made me get in touch with my emotions just before I had a breast cut off. Just as I suspected, they were awful. "How do you Latinas do this—all the time in touch with your emotions?" I asked her. "That's why we take siestas," she replied.

 I was in great hopes that confronting my own mortality would make me deeper, more thoughtful. Many lovely people sent books on how to find a more spiritual meaning in life. My response was, "Oh, hell, I can’t go on a spiritual journey—I'm constipated."

So keep fightin' for freedom and justice, beloveds, but don't you forget to have fun doin' it. Lord, let your laughter ring forth. Be outrageous, ridicule the fraidy-cats, rejoice in all the oddities that freedom can produce. And when you get through kickin' ass and celebratin' the sheer joy of a good fight, be sure to tell those who come after how much fun it was.

In 1999, Ivins was diagnosed with stage III inflammatory breast cancer. 

She died in 2007 at the age of 62. 

* From Book review in San Antonio Current: http://www2.sacurrent.com/arts/story.asp?id=70608