“As a result of government oversight, 
the company’s actions were sanctioned.”

Hmm, so did the government punish the company because they were monitoring their practices or did they tacitly approve their practices because they overlooked them?

   Welcome to the world of “Contronyms”

"The contronym (also spelled “contranym”) goes by many names, including “auto-antonym,” “antagonym,” “enantiodrome,” “self-antonym,” “antilogy” and “Janus word” (from the Roman god of beginnings and endings, often depicted with two faces looking in opposite directions)."  --alt-usage-english.org

It came up in conversation the other night when a friend (RN) pointed out that “Cleave” has opposite meanings (cling or adhere v. split or sever) 

So, went on an antilogical safari and bagged these examples  which I offer up in pedantic free context. 

The men left the kitchen to go watch the game, and the women were left to clean up.

 I’ll seed the lawn, trim the hedges and dust the crops if you’ll seed the tomatoes, trim the Xmas tree and dust the living room.

Hold this fast while I go get some rope…don’t worry, I’ll be fast.

I thought I turned the alarm off, but then it went off.

I was screened by a large pillar, so I didn’t see much when they screened the movie.

I’d love to help, but I can’t help thinking you should do it yourself.

Some words are contronyms  only in writing.  “Resign,” meaning ‘to quit,’ is spelled the same as “resign”, meaning ‘to sign up again.

And to wind up --which also means "to start" -- there's a whole bunch more that the Folks at Writing Tips have rounded up at:  http://www.dailywritingtips.com/75-contronyms-words-with-contradictory-meanings/

And why not begin a sentence with a conjunction? 

For isn't there a long and honorable tradition for doing just that? 

But some people persist in their persnickety prohibitions on prosody. 

Yet we can only carry on. Or simply ignore them or laugh them off--neither of which will dissuade them. Nor will they tolerate our love of linguistic latitude, which we'll continue to embrace despite their pedantic scoldings.  So there.

In the previously mentioned conversation with friends that raised the topic of Contronyms, there was also discussion about Puns.  And despite the consensus that taking the proverbial chicken crossing the road and turning it into Poultry in motion is a fowl form of humor,  I  proudly declare my affection for such shameless silliness, and for all those who have pointed out that:  Santa's helpers are subordinate clauses, Plateaus are the highest form of flattery and Noah kept his bees in his archive.

but wait, there's more...

The fattest knight at King Arthur’s round table ate too much pi.  

So they dubbed him 

Sir Cumference.


I thought I saw my eye doctor in Alaska, 

but it turned out to be an optical Aleutian.

Bathroom book of the Month

She was a homely whiskey maker, 

but he loved her still.

The police were called into the Nursery School because one of the children was resisting a rest. 

He tried to push the envelope, but it remained stationery.

Time flies like an arrow. Fruit flies like a banana.

(thank you Groucho)

 Hebrew poets write inverse.

The cannibals ate the missionary to get a taste of religion.

If you jumped off the Pont Neuf in Paris, 

you’d be in Seine.

A punster sent ten puns to his friends, 

with the hope that at least one of the puns would make them laugh.  

No pun in ten did.