NOTES FROM THE CLIENT ON THE FIRST DRAFT

On the twelfth day of Christmas,
Gotta be more inclusive. Use “The holiday season” 

my true love sent to me
nobody talks like this. Maybe “my bitch’? Use your judgement.
Twelve drummers drumming,
Redundant. How bout “banging”? Make it sexier.
Eleven pipers piping
see previous
Ten lords a-leaping
too British. Won’t play outside NYC.
Nine ladies dancing
how bout 9 luscious lap dancers?

Eight maids a-milking
This is good. Think anyone’ll get it?
Seven swans a-swimming
Edgier, edgier!!!

Six geese a-laying
why Geese? 

Five gold rings
Don’t get it. 

Four calling birds
lose this one. 

Three French hens
Three toad eating euro trash …something like that. 

Two turtle doves
Way too soft. 

And a partridge in a pear tree!
what the fuck is this?