FAIRFAX, Va. (The Borowitz Report)—
Saying it was “high time to take action against the number one cause of violence in America,” the National Rifle Association issued a statement today urging a sweeping ban on movies. Tracy Klugian, an official spokesperson for the gun-lobbying organization, said that the N.R.A. had taken this extraordinary step because it “could not stand idly by and watch movies tear apart the fabric of our civil society.”
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Taking a Father Brown breather and catching up on some old I.F. Stone (Izzy to his friends and fans) writings dating back mostly to the late 50s and early 60s. Highlighted a few things I thought i might post here, and here I am doing just that.
“The only kinds of fights worth fighting are those you are going to lose, because somebody has to fight them and lose and lose and lose until someday, somebody who believes as you do wins. In order for somebody to win an important, major fight 100 years hence, a lot of other people have got to be willing - for the sheer fun and joy of it - to go right ahead and fight, knowing you’re going to lose. You mustn’t feel like a martyr. You’ve got to enjoy it."
“Screw you, you sons of bitches. I may be just a goddamn Jew Red to you, but I’m keeping Jefferson alive!”
“You’ve really got to wear a chastity belt in Washington to preserve your journalistic virginity. Once the Secretary of State invites you to lunch and asks your opinion, you’re sunk.”
“The simple fact that occupying armies, whether allies or enemy, always become unpopular hardly ever figures in official calculation.”
“Honor requires the solider to kill or be killed whatever his scruples. But it is not regarded as dishonorable for the politician to swallow his misgivings and allow the young to go out and die without protest.”
“Those who set out nobly to be their brother’s keeper sometimes end up becoming a jailer. Every emancipation has in it the seeds of a new slavery.”
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