Another Thanksgiving come and gone and another chance to try and remember for next time that Stuffing is a verb...

And that for children, Manhattan is still a place where danger lurks  around every corner. 

To call the response for oxymoronic submissions underwhelming would be an overstatement. But I never really tried that hard to get the word out. Microsoft Works is declared winner by default, though I was tempted to consider Brilliant Blogger, but I'm not as objective and non-partisan as I may appear.  And instead of trying to rally my troops (most of whom are AWOL) I've decided instead to search for a like minded digital Diogenes who can assist this semantical pathologist during a lunch hour autopsy on the body of rhetorical sophistry known as The Euphemism. 

After many a click, I came across...

"Last year, rather than call the conflict in Libya a war,  a new phrase entered into the popular lexicon. 

'The way I like to put it is, from our standpoint at the Pentagon, we're involved in a limited kinetic operation,' says Secretary of Defense Robert Gates."

Bingo!

I thought "non-hostile military engagement" was pretty funny when I first heard it, and was pretty sure we'd soon be hearing live ammunition off-base multi-national training exercise--but Limited Kinetic Operation was beyond my wildest dreams.  And the entire sentence is worth diagramming cause it's just too perfect a specimen to leave lying there with so much to savor. 

Gates begins with: "The way I like to put it..."   Well, there's an honest guy for you.  Right off the bat he's letting us know that he's found his own personal way of thinking about this topic--and hinting at the fact that the topic itself  is in need of some interpretive softening in order to make it more palatable for public consumption. 

" ...is, from our Standpoint at the Pentagon".  Ah, so it's both the way you like to put it, and the way the Pentagon likes to see it, which of course is one and the same--cause you're (were) the boss.   So we can all rest assured that whatever you're about to say has been agreed upon by all relevant parties.  I feel better already .

"we're involved..."  Okay, I gotcha.  It's not like "We initiated"  or "We're undertaking" , but rather "we're involved." Nice to know we just kinda stumbled into this thing.  Wouldn't want anyone to think we made a choice or decided to act unilaterally.  That would sound aggressive.  And we're not aggressive, we're...

"...in a limited kinetic operation."  Oh, I just love it.  It's inspired.  Stupid yes, meaningless, certainly.  But inspired.  Wonder who said it first?  I can just see them all sitting around a big conference room table tossing out ideas.  "Limited" was probably a unanimous choice as a supporting actor , but who would play the lead? ?  Containment has been used too much,Peace-keeping has no real credibility, and damage control has been co-opted by Public Relations people.  

Site of U.S. Libyan Military Mission.  Codename: Mousetrap.  

But "Kinetic" is so...fresh and new.  

And hey, look it up!  It means active, lively, dynamic, energizing.  

Kinda like one of those Rube Goldberg contraptions. 

W is for:

Wayzgoose:  Annual employees' dinner or outing

Witzelsucht:   A set of rare neurological symptoms characterized by a tendency to make puns, tell inappropriate jokes or pointless stories in socially inappropriate situations.   

Whiskerine:  A beard growing contest

Waqf:  charitable donation for Islamic religious purposes

And….

Watermelon Triolet




Cousin to Cucumber, Pumpkin and Squash
Citrullus Lanatus you're my favorite treat
You're the sweetest and juiciest summer day nosh
Cousin to Cucumber, Pumpkin and Squash.
Though mostly water, that's not why you're neat
you've got goodness inside you, but never fancy or posh
Cousin to Cucumber, Pumpkin and Squash
Citrullus Lanatus you're my favorite treat