Assorted Confessions

(Quasi anonymous)

 I write e-mails to my father because I know he hardly ever checks them and I don't want to talk to him, but by sending the e-mail, I have an excuse ready if he phones and asks why I don't stay in touch more. -- G.L.

I like to put stock images of racial minorities or less than particularly attractive people in ad layouts just so I can enjoy watching my clients try to come up with polite ways of asking for "something different."  --B.N.



When frustrated or tired or just need a break at work--I play a game of online Freecell. If I solve the game in under 90 moves, I feel refreshed.  If not, I play again until I do. --K.S.

Every couple of weeks or so, I go to the Deli at lunchtime and get an overstuffed Rueben on a hero with chips on the side and a large Strawberry Banana Smoothie.  Then I lock my office door and become reacquainted with the sofa in my office.-- R.K.

I double (and even triple) dip my chips. --T.P.

I always have to pee when I go in a swimming pool, and I do.--J.J.

Every year I tell people I voted, but I never have. --T.G.

A woman sat next to me on the train one morning and proceeded to engage in two (count em-two!)  very loud, very long and purely gossipy phone conversations.  She then put the phone down on the seat between us and got busy on her iPad. As she tapped away on her screen, I took one section of my newspaper and laid it down on top of her phone. When she later reached over for the phone, I enjoyed every second of her rising desperation as she searched frantically through her handbag and under her seat before I felt satisfied enough to come to her rescue and produce the offending device. Did she suspect me of a deliberate deception?  I'm not sure, but I hope so. --R.C.