A QUIZ FOR THOSE WITH ABSOLUTELY NOTHING ELSE TO DO AT THE MOMENT.

Which of the following Persons will declare intention to seek GOP nomination before March 1st 2012 ?

1. Glenn Beck
2. Oprah Winfrey
3. Arnold Schwarzenegger
4. Lady Gaga
5. Jerry Sandusky
6. Sarah Palin

Which of the above potential nominees will withdraw from the campaign stating:

A: I decided that I could do more good for the country by pursuing my commitment to eradicate poverty and un-nutritious trans-fats in America.

B: My faith comes first, and it has become clear to me that should I continue in my quest for higher office, I would have to divest myself of my interest in the Jesus Christ and Me Choir and Worship Center to which you can make your tax deductible donations by simply visiting JCandME.com

C: What that woman said is a complete and total misapprehension of an untruth. I never have and never will succumb to such contemptiblous accusations aspersing on my character.

D: This is so so so very unfair and even unconstitutional. However my lawyers have advised me that anything I say about these lying sacks of shit who think they’re holier than thou and never had the urge themselves to enjoy a little fun and games with young and frolicsome children for whom I only have the greatest fondness and affection may be used against me in a court of law, so I therefore decline to comment.

Seven major television news organizations will air special coverage this spring of what event?

1. The opening of the Lou Dobbs Memorial 1800 mile Fence to honor the brave men and women of Texas who served their nation during the Mexican American War.

2. The Launching of a commercially sponsored orbital space satellite from Google and Apple (called: Goople) providing instant wireless (for a fee) access to every song, movie, book, publication ever written, produced, or performed since the dawn of civilization.

3. The discovery of the body of Jimmy Hoffa stuffed in an old Queen Anne's sofa that was sold at Sotheby’s Robert Kennedy estate auction.

4. An All-Star Rock and Roll Charity Benefit Concert entitled: SuperStars for Saving the Euro. All proceeds will go to: Greece, Spain, Italy, France, Germany et.al.

5. An All-Star Rock and Roll Charity Benefit Concert entitled: SuperStars for Bringing Back the Euro. All proceeds will go to: Greece, Spain, Italy, France, Germany et.al.

The NFL will announce that for the 2012-2013 season:

a. Every challenge and “play under review” will be subject to review by the television audience who will text their vote by smart phone and outcome will be determined by majority rule.

b. All Helmets will be equipped with “concussion sensors” and digital read-outs will be transmitted via an on-screen graphic so that viewers can see the severity of each and every blow to the head.

c. Scantily Clad Cheerleaders in Northern State Non-Domed stadiums will be injected before each game with a three part mixture of liquefied whale blubber, 100% Blue Agave Tequila and extra strength Percocet to prevent unsightly shivering and gooseflesh during dance routines.

d. In addition to the two minute warning the league will institute a five minute warning prior to the end of each quarter, a four minute warning prior to half-time, a three minute time-out for patriotic song, and 6 optional 2 minute time-outs for the league to use at their discretion pending volume of advertising minutes sold for each broadcast.

Fill in the Blanks from available choices

1. Bernard Madoff will_____________

a: Be pardoned and go to Italy as Secretary of Finance.
b: Will admit to rigging the dice in Prison craps game.
c: Will author recipe book: “ Cooking the Numbers”
d: Die, and autopsy will reveal that he was an escaped animatronic machine created at Disney Labs to be the Santa Claus figure in Xmas diorama.

The United States Constitution will_______________

a: Be amended to clarify Amendment 8 whereby definition of infliction of cruel and unusual punishment will be at the sole discretion of elected or appointed law enforcement authorities

b: Be burned at a Tea Party Rally in Miami where Donald Trump lights the match as Michelle Bachman recites passages from Atlas Shrugged.

c: will be discredited in light of substantial evidence that it was written by mere mortals and should be replaced by the word of God as it appears in the Bible.

d: Will be rewritten in it’s entirety by a special commission consisting of select members of the clergy, Producers of American Idol, The US Dept. of Defense, Goldman Sachs, and The Daughters of the American Revolution.

True or False.

A progressive tax code raises more base revenue during recessionary periods than flat tax rates if flat tax rates do not exceed investment spending by lending institutions whose interest rate requirements are tied to bond market dividends assuming fluctuations in currency markets remain stable or unchanged.

From 1948- 1962 Bugs Bunny’s phone was secretly tapped by FBI under direct order of J. Edgar Hoover.

Excessive television watching by children between the ages of 2 -12 can lead to excessive television watching during the ages of 13-86.

If all the words from all the blogs written on the average day were strung together in one continuous sentence, that sentence would make more sense than 68% of all sentences on all blogs.