THE DRIFTER'S NEW RULES
Sports Edition


(I'm no TeddyVegas.blogspot.com, but this is one man's humble opinion) 

Get rid of DH.  Imagine if half of all NBA teams could bring in a designated free throw shooter for their worst guy?  
Maximum 4 pitchers per team per first nine innings. I want to say 3, but let's start with 4. 
20 seconds between pitches...strictly enforced with visible clock. A violation results in automatic walk if bases empty, or one base advance for any and all base-runners. 
Move the Pitcher's mound back 10 feet (to 70' 6") Sure, they'll never do it (tradition and all), but they did lower the mound from 15" to 10" already --before 1969, mounds often varied in height , LA Dodgers had theirs at 20"!  Never heard Koufax or Drysdale mention that!  But moving it back will reduce injuries to Pitchers on line drives through the box, generate more hits, and the asymmetry of the defense will make for interesting changes that could involve the Pitcher as a more active participant in the defense.  Imagine all the possible new shifts and base covering tactics.
3 time outs per team in Basketball instead of six (in regulation time) 1 additional per team per overtime period. 
Limit Free Throws to only technical fouls.  Fouling lousy free throw shooters just rewards the guilty party (especially now that there is no more 3 to make 2 and 2 to make 1)and makes for interminable final minutes.   A foul should result in the automatic award of one point for the fouled team, plus new possession with reset shot clock.  A backcourt foul would result in 2 points and a flagrant foul 3 points with all accompanied by new possession and reset of shot clock. 
One serve in tennis.  Imagine if golfers were given two tee shots (like I always have to take)  --a free first serve just promotes go for broke sharpshooting  with today's rackets that often produce 30-40 un-returnable aces in a match.  
Use both 3 point lines (Pro & College) with the College line worth 3 points and the NBA line now worth 4.  And all dunks (any basket made when player's hand, wrist, arm makes contact with the rim) worth 1 point.  What you say?  Penalize Dunking?  Yes, The dunk hurts the game and discourages the participation of normal sized players.
If hidden ball trick is allowed, why no fake pickoff to 3rd with runner on first?
Football must be downed in the end zone.  Isn't that why it's called a touchdown? -----no more crossing plane of the line in the air. The entire ball or body with  possession must be down in the end zone.  
Coat the puck in Hockey with iridescent paint or inject it with radium or neon or make it bigger or make it less slippery--whatever it takes so I can see it.  
Any pitch that hits batter in the head or requires batter to avoid being hit in head--results in pitcher's automatic ejection and 10 game suspension.  Seriously now, how else are you gonna stop the madness?
Minimum of 15% of all tickets for all live sporting events must be made available at a cost of no more than 12 dollars, with increases tied to national COL adjustments.  
All stadium parking lots must have at least one exit per 600 vehicles. 
All music, announcements, and other amplified sound in arenas and stadiums must be under 85 Decibels at all times. 
  The Westminster Dog Show must include competitive events.  Frisbee catching? Distance jumping?  Hot-dog eating?  Something.  Anything.

The bark was bigger than his...