Three More 15 Second Plays.

( The Green Room just before taping the show)

Oprah: Ready?

Lance: Yup.

Oprah: You know the drill?

Lance:  Yup

Oprah:  You act contrite, I act shocked.

Lance:  Yup

Oprah:  But don't overdo it.

Lance: Nope

Oprah:  Gotta stretch it out, get two shows out of it.

Lance:  Yup.

Oprah:  Good.  Now let's go make some money.

Lance:  I'm right behind ya.

( McCain, Romney, and Barkeep at the Country Club )

Bartender: One Remy, one Diet Coke.

Mitt: I had it in the bag.

John: Me too.

Mitt:  No you didn't.

John: I did till we picked Sarah.

Mitt: That was so dumb.

John: At least I didn't bad mouth half the country on video.

Mitt:  Fuckin cell phones, nobody told me they had  cameras in em.

John: They do?

Bartender: (walking away talking into his iPhone) Hey Maureen, I just sent you a video, you won't believe it.

(Ron and Rand Paul in the U.S. Capitol Cafeteria)

Ron:  If you're gonna run, you need a new handle.

Rand: You don't like constitutional conservative?

Ron: Too Ivy League, I prefer minarchist libertarian. 

Rand :  How bout laissez-faire noninterventionist?

Ron: Redundant. I got it-- strict constructionist champion of unfettered primacy of  private property!

Rand: What the hell does that mean?

Ron:  Nothing!  That's the point!

Rand:  What's the point?

Ron:  What were we talking about?