Wednesday Advisories

Dear Drifter,

I’ve been watching Mad Men for a few years and wondered if in the real world of advertising in those days there was so little work to do that everyone just spent all their time smoking, drinking, playing mind games, and/or indulging in neurotic obsessions and sexual liaisons with the boss or the client or the new girl down the hall.  Just Curious…

-Madison A. Von Hugh

Hey Maddie, 

Yes.  Mad Men is historically accurate, keeping in mind that the "everyone" you refer to only comprised .001% of those in the industry.  The rest (who you will never see) were (and still are) decent, honest,  hard working professionals in crowded offices, writing copy, drawing storyboards, designing layouts, keeping records, planning productions, managing budgets and deadlines, shooting photos, film and video,  printing, editing, producing, organizing, researching,  and going on the road to work and stay alone in hotels in places like Cleveland.  Unfortunately, you will never see a show about them because the people who bring you shows like Mad Men are the equivalent of the aforementioned .001% in the TV industry.

Dear Drifter,

I couldn’t get on the internet at home, so I thought it might be the cable control box outside.  I was out there trying to figure it out for about ten minutes and when I came back in the house, I found my dog running around like crazy chasing a Skunk.  Before I could do anything the skunk sprayed the dog and took off through the back door.  Then I couldn’t find my dog and by the time I did she had run through the whole house and stunk up every room.  I spent the rest of the day outside washing the dog over and over in Baking Soda, dish washing liquid and Peroxide, and she’s almost stink-free now---but now I've still got the problem in the house. It's indescribable,  I can barely breathe.  Please advise.

--Diane Fromme D'Oder

Dear Ms. D'Oder,

Try unplugging the internet router and modem for 30 seconds, then plug both back in and wait for it to reset.

Dear Drifter,

I ride the train to work in the morning and every day the same group of four women get on at the next stop and start yapping and giggling and telling stories about their brilliant kids and their delicious dinner parties and the amazing GPS system in the new BMW SUV while passing iPads (in Ostrich leather Louis Vuitton covers) back and forth to look at all the pictures and videos they took of all the above. They’re driving me so nuts with their boushie bullshit I just want to get up and punch them all out. 

--Will Gopostelle

Hi Will , 

First, you gotta calm down.  Count to ten.  Okay?  Now, whether you like it or not, we live in a democracy (theoretically) where majority rules.  And you, my distressed friend, are in the minority here.  The train is a public domain.  These women have no fewer rights than you do, and from your description, may be inclined to fight for them.   Therefore, you need to put aside your reactive anger and think rationally. Make a plan, then rehearse it over and over in your head until you are absolutely sure that each of your punches will be accurate, swift and effective.  BTW: With a good lawyer, you could be out in six months.