LEARNED ANOTHER NEW WORD TODAY

Opsimath: ahp-sê-mæth : A person who undertakes study late in life, a person dedicated to continued education at an advanced age.

In other words: an old dog trying to learn new tricks.

And this old dog is always happy playing around the word-play playground. So I share with you the list below that was begun a few years ago at work by all those who heeded the call to participate and help create this list of:

FRACTURED NEOLOGISMS FOR A NEW MILLENIUM.

NOTE: IT IS VERY FRUSTRATING AND DIFFICULT TO MAKE A LIST LIKE THIS IN A WORD PROCESSING PROGRAM BECAUSE SOME REALLY STUPID PEOPLE WHO THOUGHT THEY WERE REALLY SMART DECIDED TO BUILD INTO THE PROGRAM AN AUTOMATIC AND ANNOYING SPELL CORRECTOR … WHICH MEANS THAT ANYTIME YOU WANT TO USE A DIFFERENT SPELLING YOU HAVE TO GO BACK AND CORRECT THEIR CORRECTION AND EVEN THEN THE FRIGGIN PROGRAM SOMETIMES OVERRIDES YOUR PREFERENCE AND YOU ARE NOW IN THE MIDDLE OF YOUR OWN BATTLE TO THE DIGITAL DEATH WITH THE “HAL” OF MICROSOFT WORD.


Some (Debby, Heidi…and ?) have seen many of these before, but I’m always happy to add new ones if anyone out there wishes to contribute.

Lexpionage-- The sleuthing of new words and phrases

Thelonious Assault—Offbeat or eccentric Star Spangled Banner renditions

Bad Hear day--A day in which a person says “Whaaat?” more than 10 times.

e-upmanship :The act of showing up another person by using advanced e-mail shortcuts and features.

Anecdotage-- that advanced age where one recounts the past with the same handful of tired old stories.

Facebookworm- A new age twist on an old stereotype.

Hasbian--A former lesbian who’s gone straight. Also known as a Wasbian.

Multidude, --The collective noun for a group of surfers.

Netois --Net patois. The unique vernacular found on the Internet.

Javlovian- An automatic response that causes people to fork over 4 dollars for 4 ounces of any hot black liquid with an Italian name.

Inloviduals,--Lovers who maintain their independence and individuality. The writers Michael Holroyd and Margaret Drabble, who for the first 15 years of their marriage lived in separate houses, provide the archetype.

Elmomentum--The inexplicable mania that descends upon one or two consumer products each Christmas season.

Corplaining—Griping and grousing, about the corporation you work for.

Factitious-- A depiction of an event in which the facts are combined with fictitious elements in order to win journalistic or literary fame.

Slackademic --A perpetual student who prefers the safety and comfort of academic life to the trials and tribulations of the real world.

Name Rackognition --The process of racking your brain in an attempt to recall the name of a person whose name you used to know.

shiftless -- a person who types entirely in lowercase letters.

Megamaniacal--The current tendency for marketing types and pundits to attach the prefix "mega" to anything even remotely large.

and a selection of oldies:

Macintush—A computer that you can carry in your back pocket

Pittiful- Someone who still can’t get enough gossip about Brad Pitt.

Personility : A person who doesn’t appear to be there.

Unemploymint: A hard candy for hard times

Pulpitations- An allergic reaction to Orange Juice

Botax- An injection that eliminates any worrisome wrinkles in your IRS deductions.

Claptomaniac -One who thinks Rock and Roll ended when Cream broke up.

Zooillogical—The whole idea of putting innocent and wild animals in cages.

Las Vegans—Animal loving gamblers

Historectomy- The removal of all evidence that George W Bush was ever a US President

Asspirational- The endless search for a pair of jeans that fit right.

Chimpagne—Bubbly wine for the un-evolved.

Wackapedia—A good place to go for bad information.

Peemonition -- One’s reaction to seeing highway sign that reads: Next rest stop 45 miles.

Prayola— A bribe used to get out of going to a religious service.

Klaustrophobia—The fear of being trapped in a small German automobile.

Alesheimers—Having no memory of how many beers you’ve had.

Orthodontest- Opening a beer bottle with your teeth