LEARNED A NEW WORD TODAY

Paraprosdokian

My son Will is a stand-up comedian, though just about every time I see him he’s lying down.

That’s a Paraprosdokian.

Comes from Greek "παρά-", meaning "despite" and "προσδοκία", meaning "expectation". However, it’s not a term of classical (or medieval) Greek or Latin rhetoric, but a late 20th century neologism.

Aside from NY Times crossword puzzles or playing online word games (Word Monaco was a favorite for a long time) during lulls in the editing suite I’m not much of a game player or puzzle solver. And now that I’m blogging, such time wasters are an even less frequent part of my daily routine. But I’m fascinated by all things linguistic, and I never knew there was a word to describe a figure of speech in which the tail end contradicts or introduces an unexpected twist on the meaning or implication of the front end. And it’s the basis of so much comic writing and joke telling I’m surprised it never occurred to me that there was a term to describe it…like oxyoron, malaprop, epistrophe et. al. But now that I’ve read some of what the leading language and word-play websites list as Paraprosdokians, I’m a little skeptical about whether it really deserves to be considered a figure of speech. There are no strict rules of thumb to follow as in other figures of speech where there is a formal constructive element or set of elements that are always present or used. A Paraprosdokian could practically be any sentence in which there is a thought followed by an editorial comment on that thought. The element of surprise or twist is entirely subjective—and on some lists I saw neither surprising nor twisted.

Ex: When tempted to fight fire with fire, remember that the Fire Department usually uses water.

That’s just lame.

But I started this silliness, so I include below a list of the best ones I found and I’ll let you decide. Meantime I’ll take comfort in the fact that I have again found a way to pass the time by typing away another lunch hour and dumping the collected detritus of my passing fancies on the virtual papyrus that has become this distracted Drifter’s digital diary. Alliteration is fun too.

Let the Paraprosdokians begin:

Light travels faster than sound. This is why some people appear bright until you hear them speak.

You do not need a parachute to skydive. You only need a parachute to skydive twice.

A fool and his money are soon elected.

Time flies like an arrow; fruit flies like a banana.
(Groucho…adding a pun to boot)

Going to church doesn’t make you a Christian any more than standing in a garage makes you a car

I asked God for a bike, but I know God doesn’t work that way. So I stole a bike and asked for forgiveness.

I used to be indecisive. Now I'm not sure.

Some people hear voices. Some see invisible people. Others have no imagination whatsoever.

Nostalgia isn't what it used to be.

Knowledge is knowing a tomato is a fruit; Wisdom is not putting it in a fruit salad.

War does not determine who is right - only who is left.

If I agreed with you, we'd both be wrong.